Surviving the Chaos: The Real Magic Behind the Mess

The Tradition of Chaos

Why do we cling to traditions that don’t serve us? On my birthday, I choose chaos over cake. For most people, birthdays are a day to relax, maybe enjoy a surprise party or two, and soak in all the well-wishes. But for me, birthdays have turned into something entirely different—more of a personal tradition, you could say. As long as my birthday falls on a weekend, you won’t find me lounging with a slice of cake. Instead, you’ll find me behind the lens, capturing the whirlwind of emotions that define someone else’s special day.

"Traditions have never really been my thing—honestly, they often feel like peer pressure from dead people."

But I’ve got a few that I hold onto, like watching Hans Gruber fall off Nakatomi Tower before it truly feels like Christmas. So, on my birthday, instead of indulging in the usual festivities, I’m out there doing what I love most. This year, I indulged in a bit of that birthday tradition—just a little later than usual.

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After a day full of wedding madness, I finally got to enjoy a slice of Jana’s homemade Donauwelle—my absolute favorite cake. Sure, it was past midnight and not exactly the healthiest snack, but after a day like that, I figured I’d earned it.

This year was no exception to the chaos I’ve come to expect and, in some strange way, even embrace on my birthday. As the date approached, I knew exactly where I needed to be—at a wedding, camera in hand, ready to capture another whirlwind of a day. But if I’m being honest, I also knew where I wanted to be: still in Denmark, bikepacking along the coast, spending the day with the person I love most, and enjoying the freedom of the open road. It’s a dream I cherish, but we live in capitalism, and sometimes you have to put aside your personal desires to make a living. So, there I was, gearing up for another wedding, knowing that while it wasn’t the escape I might have dreamed of, it was still a day spent doing something I’m passionate about—just in a different way.

And just to add a bit more chaos to the mix, I managed to strain my ankle a week before the wedding. I wish I could tell you I did it while doing something heroic or exciting, but no—it was just one of those mundane moments that catches you off guard. Suddenly, I found myself hobbling around with an aircast brace, trying to keep my spirits high, knowing that a wedding was just around the corner.

The Story of the Day: A Series of Unfortunate Events

So there I was, hobbling around in my aircast brace, camera in hand, determined to make the best of the day. Weddings are unpredictable at the best of times, but this one seemed determined to push every possible button. The day started with a quick detour past the first look location on my way to the venue. Normally, I’d just pass by, but this time, something caught my eye—a person sleeping right where the couple was supposed to have their intimate moment.

Now, this wasn’t just someone resting; it was clear that this person was down on their luck. My first instinct was to let him be—after all, he wasn’t bothering anyone, and who was I to disrupt his world? But as the wedding day continued to throw curveballs, I found myself repeatedly reminded that the universe had other plans.

The traffic gods decided to join the chaos, delaying the wedding party by a solid 30 minutes and throwing off the entire schedule. When the groom and I finally made it back to the first look spot, it was clear nothing was going as planned.

But the groom, determined to keep things on track, had a different idea. He suggested we approach the man, maybe offer him some coffee and a tenner to move temporarily. So, with coffee and cash in hand, we walked over. But as we got closer, it became apparent that this poor soul was lost in a world of his own, far removed from the celebration of love that was about to unfold just meters away. The contrast was stark—on one side, a day full of joy, love, and celebration, and on the other, someone just trying to make it through another day. It was a moment that struck me deeply, but I knew we had to keep the day moving forward. So, we quietly moved on to an alternative location for the first look, leaving the man in peace.

And just when I thought the day couldn’t throw any more surprises, the bride arrived in a taxi. I half-jokingly told the groom, “Watch, I bet the taxi driver is going to ruin it. I’ll stop him right in the street—it’s a dead end anyway, and no one else is around, so he can just stop right in the middle of the road.” But as the taxi approached, the driver completely ignored my attempts to signal him to stop and drove right past me, parking two meters in front of the groom, blocking the scene entirely.

There was the groom, sitting on a wooden fence with champagne in hand, waiting for his partner in crime, and now there was a taxi parked right in front of him, ruining not just my shot, but the entire planned moment of their first look.

The groom, of course, just laughed it off, excited to finally see his bride. But there I was, frustrated as ever, watching my carefully envisioned shot disappear in an instant. Normally, I might have scrambled to find a new angle, but with the ankle brace slowing me down, there was no quick fix. The shot I had envisioned was gone, leaving me feeling like the universe was determined to keep testing me.

The Emotional Rollercoaster: Doubt and Redemption

As the ceremony began, I hoped the day would finally settle down, allowing me to find my rhythm and capture those perfect moments. Thankfully, the light was on my side—overcast skies provided that soft, even lighting photographers often dream of. The ceremony was held outdoors, with guests sitting on hay bales under the open sky. It was the kind of setup that looks straight out of a storybook—rustic, charming, and full of that timeless, natural beauty.

"Every photographer has that internal voice—the one that whispers, 'You’re missing the shot. You’re not getting what you need.'"

But despite the picturesque setting, I found myself struggling to capture the day as perfectly as I wanted. Every photographer has that internal voice—the one that whispers, "You’re missing the shot. You’re not getting what you need." And that voice was loud in my head that day. With each moment that slipped by, I felt the frustration building. It wasn’t just about missing a shot; it was about the pressure of telling someone’s love story through images that they would treasure for a lifetime.

Navigating the uneven ground, trying to move discreetly around the hay bales, and working with limited mobility due to the ankle brace made every shot a challenge. Despite the beauty of the setting, it felt like something was always in the way—whether it was a microphone stand, a guest leaning in at the wrong moment, or just the difficulty of moving around without drawing attention.

Then came the portrait session, the part of the day where I usually find my creative groove. But thanks to the earlier delays, the time we had set aside for portraits was cut short, and then cut entirely. For me, those 30-60 minutes are when I get to connect with the couple, slow down, and create something truly unique. But as much as I wanted to push for it, there were personal reasons on the couple’s side that made it clear it wasn’t going to happen. I knew it was the right call to let it go and offer to do a session another day, but it still felt like a lost opportunity.

By the time the reception rolled around, I was exhausted—physically from the ankle and mentally from the day’s challenges. I couldn’t help but wonder if I had captured anything worthwhile at all. The doubts were creeping in, and I was already bracing myself for the disappointment of reviewing the images later.

And then, as if to add insult to injury, came the first dance. Just another moment in a day full of many, but one that photographers know is crucial. I set up, ready to use my Profoto flash on the Z8, expecting everything to work as it should. But of course, the day had one last curveball to throw. As the music started and the couple began to dance, I realized the flash wasn’t firing. Panic set in as I scrambled to figure out what was going wrong. Stupid me hadn’t tested the setup before the dance started, assuming, "It’s just a camera and a flash—how hard can it be?"

Well, lesson learned. There I was, shooting at high ISO, trying to capture the moment while frantically Googling on my phone to figure out why the flash wasn’t working. Eventually, I figured it out, but not before feeling like I was completely winging it. Take it as a hard-learned lesson: always test your gear before the big moments. Don’t be me. Don’t be the one thinking, "It’s just a cam and a flash."

Finally, past midnight, I was ready to call it a night and head home. I called a taxi, looking forward to nothing more than a quiet ride home and a slice of that long-awaited birthday cake. The ride was supposed to take about 30 minutes, but halfway through, the driver suddenly stopped, turned around, and told me he wasn’t feeling well. He stepped out of the car for some fresh air. On one hand, I was relieved he didn’t continue driving in that state, but on the other, I was pissed because all I wanted was to get home.

After a few minutes, he came back and said he couldn’t go on, which meant I had to call another taxi. Great—now I was going to have to pay extra for the second ride. Just as the new taxi arrived, the first driver suddenly announced, "I’m feeling better; we can go on." At that point, I was thinking, "WTF, are you all kidding me?"

Finally home, with the day's chaos behind me, I hoped the morning light would reveal something worthwhile in the images I'd captured. After a good night’s sleep and a solid breakfast, I sat down to start culling through the thousands of photos I’d taken. With my ankle still throbbing and the memories of the previous day’s chaos fresh in my mind, I was bracing myself for disappointment. What if I hadn’t captured anything worthwhile? What if the chaos had gotten the better of me?

Morning Reflection: Finding the Beauty Amidst the Chaos

But as I began to sort through the images, something remarkable happened. Amidst the missed shots and frustrations, there were moments—real, beautiful moments—that stood out. The raw emotions, the joy, the love—they were all there, captured in ways I hadn’t expected. The shots I worried I’d missed were replaced by others that told the story in a different, but equally powerful, way.

Jana, my ever-supportive partner, reminded me, “You always say you didn’t do well, but it always turns out great.” And as much as I hate to admit it, she was right. The chaos and imperfections that had frustrated me at the time had actually contributed to the authenticity of the story I was telling. The day had tested me in all the right ways, pushing me out of my comfort zone and forcing me to adapt. It was a reminder that the beauty of photography lies in capturing those imperfections in a way that tells the true story of the day.

The Takeaway: Embrace the Unexpected

If there’s one thing this experience reinforced, it’s that perfection is a myth, and chaos is inevitable—especially when it comes to life’s most important moments. It’s easy to get caught up in the pressure of making sure everything goes according to plan, but the truth is, the real magic often happens when things don’t.

"The best stories often come from the messiest situations, and the most memorable moments are the ones we couldn’t have planned for."

This lesson goes beyond photography; it’s a reminder for life. The best stories often come from the messiest situations, and the most memorable moments are the ones we couldn’t have planned for.

So, here’s my takeaway: Embrace the unexpected. Don’t get too hung up on perfection. Whether you’re planning a wedding, working on a project, or just navigating everyday life, remember that it’s often the surprises and detours that lead to the most meaningful experiences.

And as for me? I’ll keep showing up, ankle brace and all, ready to capture whatever the day throws my way. Because in the end, it’s not about having everything go perfectly—it’s about finding the beauty in the chaos and telling the story as it unfolds.

Until next time, keep embracing the mess and creating something beautiful out of it. And maybe, just maybe, don’t forget to check your gear before the big moments.

Big hugs,
Björn