Stop Smiling If You Don’t Mean It: A Love Letter to Radical Honesty

People will talk behind your back.
That’s not new.
It’s been happening since the first f*cking campfire.

Maybe it’s jealousy.
Maybe it’s insecurity.
Maybe it’s just easier to tear someone down than to look in the mirror.

But knowing that doesn’t make it hurt less.

Because no matter how tough we act,
we all want the same damn thing underneath:

To be seen. To be accepted. To be enough.

It’s even worse in the wedding industry.
Or honestly — in any shiny, polished professional space.

You show up.
You smile.
You shake hands.

But behind the scenes, people are sharpening knives.
Pretending friendship on the surface — while whispering in corners when backs are turned.

And if I'm honest?

I'm guilty too.

Not proud of it.
Not proud of the moments where I smiled when I didn’t mean it.
Where I kept the peace instead of speaking the truth.
Where I played the game because it felt safer than standing out.

Because yeah — I like being liked.
Because I hate fighting.
Because it’s f*cking hard to be real when everyone else is playing pretend.

But here’s what I’m learning —
slowly, painfully, beautifully:

Radical honesty isn’t about being brutal.
It’s about being brave.

It’s not about calling people out to hurt them.
It’s about calling people in — telling them they matter.
Telling them they’re seen.
Telling the truth even when it’s messy or scary or imperfect.

In business, that looks like telling a couple,
"Hey, I don’t feel the connection I need to shoot your wedding the way you deserve."
instead of forcing a fake fit.

In life, it looks like telling a friend,
"I can’t meet today. My heart’s heavy and I need space."
instead of showing up resentful and pretending.

It looks like saying,
"I love you,"
when you feel it —
even if your voice shakes.
Even if it’s not the “cool” thing to say.

I first tasted this kind of honesty in 2017.
When I taught my first solo workshop in Denmark.

It wasn’t a wedding photography class.
Not really.

It was five days of strangers crying, bleeding their real fears out in the open,
letting their walls crack in front of each other.
It was messy.
It was beautiful.
It was hard as hell.
And I f*cking loved it.

Therefore, I realized something I hadn’t fully known until then:

Most people are desperate to be real —
they’re just waiting for someone to go first.

Maybe it’s time I go first again.

So if you’re tired of the fake smiles —
the polished personas —
the exhausting need to “keep up” —

Start here.

Be real first.
Say the thing first.
Be the permission you wish someone else would give you.

But don’t do it for applause.
Do it for your own damn soul.

Because at the end of the day?

All of us — every single one — just wants to be seen.

Maybe it’s time we sat around a fire again.
Maybe it’s time to crack ourselves open — together.

(If you’d be down for something like that... let me know. Maybe it’s time for another one.)

Hugs,
Bjørn

P.S.
If you’re reading this and thinking, "f*ck, I need more of that" — hit reply and tell me.
I’m thinking about bringing back a real, raw, no-bullsh*t workshop — just us, just honesty, just heart.
If you want in, or just wanna say hell yes to being real — let me know. 🖤

For the hearts still beating—keep creating, keep pushing, keep giving a damn.