Who are you actually giving your time to?

I'm listening to Morrissey.

I know. The things he's said lately. I'm inconsistent about it. That's honest, and I'm not going to pretend otherwise.

But sometimes someone writes a line so precise it doesn't let you go.

Today it's this:

"In my life, why do I give valuable time to people who don't care if I live or die?"

I'm sitting here building my website. And, whoever deserves thanks for this, building a website is the kind of task that makes you question every decision you've ever made. Everything has to be right, everything has to fit, and the whole time I'm thinking: who's actually looking that closely? Who's on the other side, judging?

And there it was.

How much time do we photographers give to people who don't give a shit about us?

Not literally. In our heads. The imaginary jury. The photographer with 40,000 followers who will probably never see our work. The comment sections. The comparison with someone working in a different city, with a different clientele, in a completely different phase of their life.

We give them real time. Actual, finite, non-renewable time.

Morrissey pressed that observation onto vinyl 40 years ago and it's still true. Maybe more than ever, because the internet gives us endless new opportunities to compare, measure, and perform for an audience that mostly doesn't exist.

I do it too. I sit at my website and wonder if it looks "professional enough." For who? For the industry? For other photographers? For someone who clicks in and scrolls away in 30 seconds?

Probably not for the couples I actually want to work with. They decide on completely different terms.

Here's the uncomfortable question:

The last thing you posted. Who was it actually for?

For the people who might need it?

Or for the imaginary judges who will never be satisfied, because they live inside your own head?

I don't have a clean answer. I'm just starting to ask the question more often.

That's enough for now.

Hugs,
Bjørn

For the hearts still beating—keep creating, keep pushing, keep giving a damn.